Sample chapter.

member profile

Member Name: Beverly J.
ID: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com
Location: Midwest
Birth date: October 11
Sex: Female
Marital Status: Married
Computers: Mac Quadra and a PowerBook
Interests: Reading, playing the piano, studying typography
Occupation: Editor
Quote: Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.

--Samuel Johnson

member profile

Member Name: Maximilian M.
ID: Maximilian@miller&morris.com
Location: Northern Hemisphere
Birth date: Taurus
Sex: male
Marital Status: single
Computers: who cares
Interests: bonsai gardening, writing poetry, mixing the perfect martini
Occupation: copywriter
Quote: For myself I live, live intensely and am fed by life, and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression of that.

--Henry James

session:

> Private Mail
> Date: Friday, July 14, 1995 1:48 a.m.
> From: Maximilian@miller&morris.com
> Subj: Hello
> To: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com

Beverly, (is that your real name?)

I've seen your messages in the Writer's Forum and you seem to know a lot about computers. I'm thinking of upgrading my old '386 PC and I'm wondering if you can give me any advice on whether I should buy a PC or a Macintosh.

Also, I noticed in your member profile that you're an editor. Where do you work? I'm a copywriter...maybe we could get together sometime.

Maximilian (that's my real name)

> Private Mail
> Date: Monday, July 17, 1995 7:32 a.m.
> From: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com
> Subj: Thanks, but No Thanks
> To: Maximilian@miller&morris.com

Maximilian:

I really don't like to give advice on whether a person should buy a Mac or a PC, especially because I know nothing about the way you work and what you want to accomplish with your computer. If you're just going to be doing word processing, it probably doesn't matter whether you use a Mac or a PC.

I'm sorry I don't have time to chat but I'm under a lot of deadlines at the moment.

p.s. Just in case you didn't notice, my member profile says I'm married.

> Private Mail
> Date: Monday, July 17, 1995 11:08 a.m.
> From: Maximilian@miller&morris.com
> Subj: Ouch!
> To: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com

Sheesh! You didn't seem so uptight in your messages on the Writer's Forum! Besides, I wasn't trying to pick you up--I don't do cybersex, and you could be a real toad for all I know.

I promise to quit bugging you if you'll just tell me if Beverly is your real name.

Maximilian

> Private Mail
> Date: Tuesday, July 18, 1995 6:50 a.m.
> From: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com
> Subj: Ouch!
> To: Maximilian@miller&morris.com

Maximilian:

Excuse me? I am not a toad, for your information. You, on the other hand, are probably wearing a smelly jogging suit with your butt hanging out the back and Cheetos crumbs hanging off your beard.

But since you've promised to stop bothering me, I will tell you that Beverly is my real name. And I am *not* uptight, BTW.

Beverly

> Private Mail
> Date: Tuesday, July 18, 1995 10:37 a.m.
> From: Maximilian@miller&morris.com
> Subj: Sorry
> To: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com

Beverly,

Look, I'm really sorry. I had a hangover when I wrote that message at work yesterday morning. Can we start over? I swear I wasn't trying to pick you up... I've just been a copywriter for so long that I was curious how you got to be an editor.

Maximilian

p.s. I don't wear jogging suits, I don't have a beard, and I don't even like Cheetos. What does "BTW" mean? And why did you put asterisks around one of your words?

> Private Mail
> Date: Wednesday, July 19, 1995 7:23 a.m.
> From: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com
> Subj: Sorry
> To: Maximilian@miller&morris.com

Maximilian:

I thought you said you wanted computer advice, not career advice? And who's your boss anyway? From the time on your messages, it looks as if you're strolling into work just in time to take your lunch break. If you worked for me, I'd fire your ass in a heartbeat.

Beverly

p.s. You must be new online--"BTW" stands for "by the way." People use all sorts of acronyms like that to make typing online faster and easier. The asterisks are used for emphasis, since you can't type in italics online. Some people use underscores at the beginning and end of a word or phrase (_like this_) to mean the same thing.

> Private Mail
> Date: Thursday, July 20, 1995 11:41 a.m.
> From: Maximilian@miller&morris.com
> Subj: Sorry
> To: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com

OK, so now that we've established we could never work
together, I guess there's not much else to talk about since you seem fairly incapable of having any kind of conversation that's even remotely personal.

(And yes, I'm new to this whole online thing.)

Maximilian

> Private Mail
> Date: Friday, July 21, 1995 8:02 a.m.
> From: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com
> Subj: Truce?
> To: Maximilian@miller&morris.com

Maximilian,

I am not incapable of participating in friendly discussion. It's just that I get a lot of weird e-mail from people I don't even know. Usually people want something from me, like they want me to read their nephew's first novel and help them get it published, or they want computer advice, or sometimes these people are just plain lunatics, and I have to change my e-mail address in order to get away from them. One woman found out where I lived and started calling me at all hours of the night, threatening to commit suicide if I didn't talk to her. The sysops had to lock her out of one of the forums because she was filling up the message boards with all these crazy ramblings, and a bunch of us had to get unlisted phone numbers.

Even the people who just want computer or editorial advice expect me to give away my time for free; they don't understand that I, too, have to work for a living.

Oh well, sorry for the little flame there; I guess you've hit one of my sore spots. <g>

Just so you know--a "flame" is a message from someone who's pissed off and venting a lot of steam; my message is pretty mild compared to some of the flames you see online. A "sysop" is someone who manages a forum (it's short for "system operator"), and the <g> stands for an electronic grin. Because you can't see the expression on people's faces or hear the inflection of their voices when "talking" online, a lot of people use the <g> or :-) (sideways smiley face, called an "emoticon") to show they are joking or trying to be friendly when typing something that could be misconstrued.

Tell you what: Just to show you that I am not a horrible person, I'll let you ask me one question, which I will answer to the best of my knowledge. One question, one answer. Deal?

Beverly

> Private Mail
> Date: Saturday, July 22, 1995 2:14 a.m.
> From: Maximilian@miller&morris.com
> Subj: One Question
> To: BevJ@frederic_gerard.com

Beverly,

It's a deal, and thanks for the background info on what all that jargon means. I've been wondering what it all stands for since I got online a few weeks ago, but have always felt too stupid to ask about it on the public message boards.

And now... Here's my question:

Are you happy?

Was that fabiolous or what?

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